so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Randomize