just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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