someone threw a dead crab at me
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
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