I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize