But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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