So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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