You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Never underestimate the power of titties
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
