this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
