We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
