you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
