My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
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I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
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I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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