I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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