just come out here and I will go home with you...
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Randomize
