Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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