I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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