He is such a slut. More and more my type.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Randomize
