Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
You smell like stripper and shame
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
