There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
