Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
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Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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