So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
how does that bad decision feel?
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