i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
PANTIES FOUND
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize