hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
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