i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
