Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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