Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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