He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
im about as happy as oj after his trial
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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