Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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