i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
either way he was missing a nipple.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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