come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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