i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Everyone says I win the strip club
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
