I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
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now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
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How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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