we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
