a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
