I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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