Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have beer where we have blood.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize