talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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