I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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