theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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