They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
