She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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