people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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