fuck your aforementioned shoe
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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