you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
