Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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