Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Dick very happy bro
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
