I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
me + whiskey = a bad person
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
