Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize