Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
