Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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