scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
