i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
