wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
it was like eating out sand paper
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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