i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
its not stalking. its research.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
