in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
