I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
