so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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