Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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